Wednesday, May 13, 2009


My oldest is turning 12 this summer. Not so much a kid anymore...but not quite a teenager. Even the title of 'young man' seems a little off putting and out of place. Mikey is graduating elementary school next week and heading for Jr high in the fall. I, admittedly, am not ready by any means for this change. I have been dreading it ever since he brought home the paperwork for enrollment to Jr High. (it took me 3 weeks to bring myself to fill out the papers) This is really the time that I have been questioning my 'my work' as a parent the most. Have I raised a self thinker? Have I taught him to trust his own judgement and make decisions that are from his own thinking and not from what the other kids in school are doing? I cannot begin to explain the anxiety that I feel for him entering into this new chapter of his life. It is something that I find myself worrying about more and more every day.
This summer...I will be focused on him the most...preparing him the best that I can. We will have ' the talk' about sex education (although i have no idea how i will even begin this talk...but rest c will be called on to assist in this discussion). He will be given more responsibility. This might be the hardest part of letting him grow up for me. I am the mother that still will not let my children walk to their school that is only 5 minutes away from home alone, for fear of what might happen. I am a mother that has been home with my children since day one. This has been the greatest blessing of my life thus far. Letting go a little, and putting so much trust and faith in Mikey and in my parenting is going to be difficult for me. I don't want to hold him back...but I want to be sure. Sure that everything that I have taught him about being kind and good, and not giving into pressure from his peers and thinking for himself all the while knowing how valuable this time in his life is.
Parenting has got to be the most difficult of jobs. In essence...we are responsible for molding our children. We are responsible for giving them proper guidelines and tools for life. We are responsible for keeping our babies close and helping them develop who they are and then later, knowing when it is time to pull back and give them their own freedoms to develop the rest on their own. This is exactly where find myself with my oldest son. He is ready to start some of the work on who he is...on his own. I'm just not ready for that. Not yet.
I really don't know of any greater challenge or blessing in this life.


  1. Good morning miss lovely~
    Rest assured, if you are taking the time to ask such thoughtful questions about your parenting, you are doing a magnificent job, and I am sure your son is quite ready for this next, exciting chapter in his life, as are you. Honestly, I have LOVED jr. high, and enjoy my older boys and the time we spend together more and more the older they get. #1 is off to high school in the autumn and I am so excited about it. Have faith in your parenting - you are a fabulous mom. As long as your lines of communication are open, you are all going to do great!

  2. i agree, you are contemplating so many wonderful thoughts in how you will raise & mold this precious baby of yours! you sound like you are so tuned as a mom, so available and so humble too. i know you will find confidence in your self and you will be just will he!
    rooting you dear rebecca!!

    i must tell you, my package came today & i'm just completely blown away! i loved your handwriting on the outside of the package and then i opened to find such cool shreded brown paper and the little clothes pin with the note & the p card...too much...i LOVE IT!!
    the lollia is wonderful. i have the candle sitting beside me at the computer to enjoy today. and the bath salts will be tonight!! i can't wait. so glad i have some wine on hand!

    you are amazingly generous, just amazingly generous...not only in this gift but in your constant stream of kind and encouraging words

    blessings to sweetest rebecca
    & thank you thank you thank you
    so very much

  3. OMG!!! My son is turning 12 next month. They have been having the sex ed discussions the last week in his class at school.

    I totally feel for you!

  4. I cant believe Mikey is going to be 12...
    I remember when he was just a little peanut! Dont tell him, i just called him a little peanut! ha ha!
    You have done such a great job with him, you def will not have to worry about Mikey standing up for who he is, you can already see that strong, confindent young man coming thru!
    I cant even imagine a 12 year old.. but its coming soon!
    Im so excited for Mikey to go to Jr. High!
    Yeah Mikey.. Oh, i mean Mike! :)

  5. Rebecca, I just love when you write posts like this, and you are so open and honest, I love it. From what you have written it sounds like you are a wonderful mother to be so concerned with your children. To hope the best for them and to give them the tools is all we can do. My son is 2 and people always ask me for some reason, isn't it time to have another one? The thought scares me, another one, really? but I have not even begun molding and caring for this could I do this simultaneously with another one? Ahh, to much, got to go figure this out! :)