Friday, May 28, 2010

the magic of girls....

i love having a daughter in between my two boys
she makes me remember the magic of being a girl
the specialness that is part of who we are as little girls with dreams bigger than life
yesterday marked the end of the school year
so morgan and i decided to have a small but magical end of the year party
a party to celebrate the end of fourth grade
the guest list:
her best girlfriends
a small group of girls that i love having over


we tossed around a few ideas on how to celebrate...
and last minute...we decided to have an outdoor picnic in the grass
it was the simplest idea...
easy set up and easy maintenance

the girls made their own homemade pizzas for dinner
one pepporoni and one cheese
{i get my pizza dough at trader joes and it's the best i've found}
we also had a summer salad with strawberry dressing and crusty french bread


from the moment morgan's guests arrived...they were silly
and the entire night was their show
they behaved exactly how i did at my slumber parties when i was ten



i somehow turned into their waitress {that never got a tip from them} for the whole night...
i was running strawberry lemonade and panna water back and forth for these girls
i should have hired a real waiter or maybe even paid the boys to serve them...
maybe next time...
we set up our quilts and pillows right in the front yard...
right under our big ficus tree
we also brought out some trays and vases of flowers to pretty things up



they spent the lot of the night outside under the big tree
i love that they only came in for 'tinkle time' as they put it...



after dinner...they played all sorts of silly games that i played when i was their age...
they talked about boys and i was glad to hear that for the most part...boys are still gross...but that doesn't stop these girls from thinking that gross boys are still cute...
confusing, i know
they played statue and truth or dare which actually just turned into dare...
do you remember playing that?
i think it would be more fun to play as an adult...





i am so glad that morgan has this group of girlfriends
i hope she has them with her forever...
they already have their own very distinct personalities...




they danced in the front yard until about 9 underneath the big tree...
mr c and i hung tea lights in mini ball jars for the girls...
it was the perfect amount of twinkle for the night
the perfect amount of magic...



i learned last night that morgan thinks jake d is cute and nice...
and some boy named trevor b is not...
and one of the fourth grade girls has already kissed a boy!...
really....in the fourth grade

we finished off the night with chocolate cake...movies and snacks...
it is amazing how much food these girls can eat
when i left them and went to bed around midnight...they were playing rounds of MASH...do you remember that game?....
i used to play it with my sister and my girlfriends...
somethings just don't change...

when they woke up {too early on the first day of summer break} we had chocolate croissants and berries with orange juice spiked with pellegrino water...
it gives the oj just enough bubbly and zip...you should try it...you'll love it too..


after her girlfriends were all picked up and dropped off...
i told morgan that we should have more parties this summer just because...
because isn't being a girl enough to celebrate...













Sunday, May 23, 2010

bare toes in the grass...

after a somewhat busied morning with picking up the one of
the kids from auntie's and a few errands and housework...
we put a stop to the day and invited a picnic into our afternoon...
have you ever just done that?
had an idea and you didn't think about it...
you just did it?
something i'm trying to work on...
losing the regimented scheduling girl inside of me...

i'm getting tired of letting the clock run my day...
so as summer is getting closer..
and the days are becoming more lax...
i've decided to let go a little
so far...it feels pretty good...

we picnicked in the front yard on mikey's old quilt...
it was warm and breezy...
perfect weather for sitting in the sun with my 3 little bugs...
we talked about college...dogs...summer plans...swimming and ants


there wasn't one fight...
that always amazes me...
{maybe because i threatened to cancel the picnic if the bickering started
or maybe because i bribed them to behave}
the only thing missing was mr c...
but he was at work...
somebody's gotta bring home the bacon




i wish for these to be the memories that pop up in my children's minds when they are grown
up with little bugs of there own...
...i hope that they reflect back and think of the little simple things
that they had during their childhood...
these are the days that count...
the days that left us with bare toes in the grass



Wednesday, May 19, 2010

do you know what this is...

this is my bikini


this is the reason...the only reason why i am eating brown rice and asparagus for dinner tonight
and every night to come
and why i will not have a piece of chocolate cake for dessert
this is my motivation for the summer that is just about here in phoenix
do you live here too?
so then you know?
if you don't...
then know this...
we will live in bathing suits and itty bitty sun dresses for the next 5 months
my first pool hours will be logged this saturday and...
i.am.not.ready...
there...
i said it....
not ready....
i am not one who works out in the gym
i don't mind running if i can find the motivation
but so far, motivation has yet to be seen around these parts
that is until today...
when i dug through the dresser drawer to find the above
and when i pulled it out
and hung it on the bathroom door
motivation came knocking pretty loud...
knock
k n o c k
k n o c k
so here we go...
time to get it back into a bikini
are you ready?
do you worry about this too...
and one more thing...
am i too old for a bikini?
35 this summer
what do you think?



Tuesday, May 18, 2010

come home....please

.....i wont ask for anything more if you do.



my darling mr c...you have been gone since sunday and i am ready for you to return home. i know you need to visit our children that live near the ocean, but i am selfish and want you all to myself. i don't sleep well when you are gone and i don't laugh nearly as much as i do when you're home.

yesterday, sometime around 4pm, i begged the children for 10 minutes of peace so i could lay down. the day had caught up with me and left me feeling spent. it was exactly 3 minutes before landon was knocking on the bedroom door looking for my consent for him to start a bath and shortly after that, morgan wanted to bring the cat in to 'nap' with me and i use the term 'nap' loosely. after about 5 minutes, i was back in the kitchen where the children were watching avatar for the 8th time in 3 days. we could have used that dvd as a babysitter and saved ourselves the fifty dollar babysitters fee when we joined our dinner club on saturday. keep that in mind for next months dinner, will you?

dinner was easy, it had to be...i was producing off of a 5 minute nap, remember? the 3 opted for hot dogs (bleh) and fruit. no, mikey did not have the fruit. i made green beans and brown rice for myself and chased that healthy meal with a mini bag of m&m's. okay. 2 mini bags of m&m's. that is the last time we buy the economy sized bag of mini chocolates from costco. it's almost swimsuit season for bikini's sake.

i am still questioning letting the children watch the sixth sense last night. although i believe m. night shayamalan is a genius...his movies are a little unnerving. how does he think of these stories? the kids kept reassuring me that they could handle such a movie so i let them watch. i thought i might have made a mistake in letting them watch when i had to later accompany landon to the bathroom...i observed him checking both the tub and linen closet for 'dead people'. no nightmares were reported this morning so i think maybe we are in the clear.

the kids were all dropped off to school this morning without delay. i even managed to get my starbucks before i took mikey to poston. only 8 more days of school. i am ready for lazy summer days that all begin with sleeping in. that reminds me, will you move the alarm clock to your side of the bed?

i am anxious for your return tomorrow. i haven't laughed in two days. strike that...i did laugh a little while watching the big bang theory last night. sheldon's dialogue kills me. but laughing with you is much more fun. bazinga!

so i'm off to tackle the linen and craft closets. and maybe sneak in a nap before the children get picked up from school. i have promised them a trip to yogurtland later today. it's right next to the nordstrom that i have to make a return to. and i woke up craving the vanilla and chocolate masterpiece covered with coconut and peanut bits that i made there on saturday. sounds good, doesn't it?

i'll call you later today. but i'll send you a sexy text before then.

love you more and most,

r

Friday, May 14, 2010

here i am...

before you read this, please know this....
i am incredibly uncomfortable posting photos of myself...
i am trying to get over that
by posting a slew of photos of myself...
the reason:
i found that i enjoy blogs more when you can see who you are reading about and connect with them through photos of themselves
so please...
do not think i am narcissistic...
because i am not...
so...
here i am...


i am the 4th child out of 5
my sister who is my best friend is the baby of our family
i still tell her that 'mom told me i am the favorite'
thank you mom for having jess...
i don't know what i would do without her
i married when i was 21 years old
i was married for 11 years
we had 3 babies
i am still very ambivalent when i reflect on that time
things were good then bad and then good again...
then they got really bad
and i got really hurt and scared
and finally had enough
so i told him ENOUGH...
and then i picked up my 3 babies and started over
they are now 12, 10 and 6
they are my greatest calling
they will be the most important thing that i do with my life


divorce was hard
starting over with 3 babies was the hardest, best, rawest, funniest and smartest
time in our lives...but now, things are good
i am blessed and restored

i got a second chance with mr c
we worked together some 17 years ago
before my marriage and my babies
we crushed on each other but...
he was married so that's all we could do...
i always knew he was supposed to be mine
i just had to wait for the timing to be right...
he divorced 5 years before i did
and he waited for the right girl
that was me but i was late...
trying to get out of the bad marriage i was in


after my marriage ended and divorce progressed...the thought of mr c popped into my head
i was sitting in the school parking lot waiting for my children when i picked up my phone and
called where he worked...
i left a message for him because the receptionist told me he had the day off...
i remember, it was a wednesday
he called me within minutes
she gave him my message immediately
and he knew...
when she said 'a rebecca called'
he knew it was me
he said his heart fluttered every time he heard my name in the past 14 years,
even if i wasn't 'the rebecca' at the time
we spoke and text on and off all day and met for breakfast the next day
we hugged the moment we saw each other
and held hands over oatmeal and muffins
our timing was finally right
we have been inseparable ever since
he's my perfect
i will love him for the rest of forever
he loves my babies and i love his babies
we have 7 babies between us
hoping for one more with each other
maybe someday...

our life is good
we are healthy, happy and always laughing
i cook chicken and beef for my family and i am a vegetarian
that's love if you ask me
i have not eaten red meat, chicken, pork or any land animal in 13 years
i do eat a little seafood
i am still trying to figure out the threading of who i am
my insecurities run high and daily i try to get them under control
i told my mom the other day that this is my hardest battle
to just trust in myself and my own decisions and to let go of keeping up
to just focus on what i want for my family
to figure out our own formula
aside from my family, i love:
starbucks, fudge brownies from aj's, red and black nail polish, panna water, summer sweaters,
paper goods, classical music, gangsta rap, oil rubbed bronze, the mountains in az, the beach, staying in hotels, flipping through photos, chapstick, espadrilles, summer dresses, laughing until i cry and tanned skin
i am rebecca and this is me







Tuesday, May 11, 2010

please don't tell him i posted this...

.....a photo of my better half's...better half!

mr c is a fox and he just can't help it...why would he want to anyway?





...i remember the days when we were just starting to date. mr c would give me the text saying that he was on his way over, most often it would be late at night after my children had fallen asleep...dating as a single mom is tricky stuff. i would spend a good hour showering, recurling my hair, touching up make up and making sure the legs were smooth (at least from the knee down). i always greeted that man at the door with a kiss that would make him weak in the knees every time. i wore cute pajama shorts with a little tank top and sometimes i surprised him in a nighty...BOY HAVE THINGS CHANGED!!!

...i am sitting here in my old navy polka dot pajama bottoms and black tank top with my hair tied back in a side pony waiting for him to come home from work. i probably smell a bit like garlic since i chopped exactly 4 cloves of it for tonight's risotto with asparagus. i haven't touched up my make up since about 1 this afternoon and because landon and morgan each took the longest and hottest baths in history, i probably will not shower because the water wont be hot enough for me. that means prickly legs and mr c hates prickly legs (sorry, darling). i am not sure if i will even get up and remove myself from the computer to greet him properly at the door and welcome him home...that has yet to be decided.

...there is something to be said about being comfortable and real in your relationship, no?

...on second thought...i think i'm going to run a brush through my hair and at least run some fruity chapstick over my lips...that should do the trick!

see babe...i still got it.



Monday, May 10, 2010

monday, monday

somewhere between the hours of 9 and 10 am this morning...i lost my moxie
...my verve was gone...
i awoke early this morning with to do lists longer than both of my arms linked together...
i have checked exactly two items from my list:
dropped the children off to school and
ran through starbucks for my white mocha...check and check
everything else has been temporarily put on hold until further notice
i lost all determination to tackle the
laundry
dishes
and
childrens rooms
i have spent the lot of my day:
chatting on the phone
surfing the interweb
forgetting about the diet i started today and remembering it half way through the slice of white cake that i was eating...i didnt even slice the cake actually...just forked it off the tray...
playing with my iphone
walking past the laundry only looking at it long enough to make a face and swear at it
i have googled backyard chickens and sunless tanners
spoken to my sister 3 times
about nothing
and twirled my hair into a mess
so....
it is now time to take the rest of my monday back
i will pick my children up from school
fail at talking myself out of another run through starbucks
and tackle the 3 point list that i forced myself to scribble down moments ago:
1. finish all the {damn} laundry
2. prepare the mr.'s shirt for work tomorrow while questioning how i got signed up to iron them in the first place...i loathe ironing
3. organize my desk caddy so that bills get sent out on time this month!
go get 'em becks...you can do it.
after starbucks lights you up first...

Friday, May 7, 2010

they're watching you.....


...that's exactly what my mother would tell me somewhere around the 2nd grade. she knew that during lunch time, i was tossing my sandwiches overboard like yesterdays garbage and opting to chase my lunch treats with a chocolate milk instead. i don't know how she knew...but she did. i wondered if she had hidden a secret camera in my lunch box...or maybe she was hiding somewhere in the lunch crowd, just waiting to catch me dismissing my pb&j. one day, i found the nerves in the pit of my belly and asked her how she knew. she told me that she had made phone calls to the teachers and lunch aides and they were her secret spies. secret spies? genius. i am however, standing by my former belief that my mother is part {good} witch and just knows these things...a spawn of traditional motherly intuition, if you will.


so last week when i was unpacking landon's backpack and lunch box...the contents, minus one bag of oreo cookies was still in the box. when i interrogated landon about choosing the oreos over everything else, he played confused. he tried his best to sell me on the issue that he wasn't really that hungry...meanwhile, he was scarfing down yogurt and cheetos like he had been stuck on a deserted island all day.
"Landon, you know that they are watching you and they have my phone number and will be calling me after your lunch every day?"
Landon...panicked look followed by nervous mumbles of sorts.
the next day: he ate everything. i think. at least nothing was brought home and he pinky promised me that he ate the sammy and all.


i {almost} feel bad that i remind him everyday that they are watching....but it works and i am pretty sure that it will cost me fortunes in therapy some day. but hey...it worked for my mother, and i turned out okay. mostly.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

loving these....

...tory burch ballet flats right now. you know your hubbins-to-be loves you when he puts tory burch on your feet!



i have been living in these the past week and i am not at all afraid to say that i have worn them every day. i know they are only shoes...but gosh darn it, i love 'em.
*****
right now i am readying teacher appreciation gifts...tossing around easy dinner ideas in my head and avoiding the arguing going on in the kitchen. i have already been referee to both the ice cream and mikey wont leave me alone debacles. i am anxiously waiting for the time when my children love to spend lazy days and after school hours together. i will not hold my breath. will you?
*****
earlier today, mr c and i drove around and looked at new homes...one of our favorite ways to waste time. i have been a model home junkie since i was 17 or 18 years of age. i would tag along with my parents and scan the the model homes with intensity, studying every design move and trying my hardest to memorize what i saw. when we would pull into our home...i immediately headed to my room and invested hours rearranging and redecorating. then my energies would head out into the rest of my parents home. now at 34...this has not changed at all. i still come home inspired, energized and resolved to make my home shine and present like the models. why i did not forward my ambitions in interior design yet, i do not know.
*****
mr c bought each of us iphones a few weeks ago. how i managed life without it before baffles me. i did not know that i could love a phone...but i do. i love it as much as the mr right now nail polish that i found at sephora last week. red. i have never worn red nails until last week. boy was i missing out on that. red nails are sexy.
*****
off to make dinner now...i'm thinking pasta and sauteed veggies sounds nice.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

wednesday was good


our home functions on routine. i need routine in my life. i am a very scheduled and regimented kind of gal. mr c is the complete opposite of this. that's why we are so good together. that and we make a pretty foxy pair when standing together.
today mr c started his new promotion at work and as a result of that promotion, he has a new schedule. this means constructing a new routine for me. we had the morning together alone so instead of the usual housework and errand running, we opted for bike rides and scrabble.
a girl could get used to bike rides and scrabble in the morning...as long as they are preceded by a trip through the starbucks drive-thru....some parts of the routine just shouldn't be changed.


Monday, May 3, 2010

monday's eve


the house is quiet...
mikey, morgan and landon are asleep
and
mr c is at his softball tourny...
i feel like the house is all mine right now
the fan is buzzing and the tv is muffled with the sound
of bad reality tv...my secret addiction...



i just finished a long steam in the shower
while
wishing the whole time it was a bath
sadly...
we have no tub in the master bath...
a hot shower does not come close to comparing to a hot bath
if that sounds like whining...then it was spot on...
because i was
after tonight...i could really use a long bath...
and massage...
and pound of chocolate...
with a side of ice cream



i again, was challenged by my ex-spouse

having to explain the importance and validity of motherhood

it was a frustrating conversation...

one that has been going on for some time now...

so now...i am putting those frustrations behind me while

i prepare myself and my family for tomorrow

tuesday is sure to bring some fun things considering

mr c is taking the day off of work

and...




the countdown has officially begun...
only 18 official days of school left
call me crazy but...
i am looking forward to lazy summer days
this 6am in the morning routine has worn out its welcome
...don't ya think?