Monday, August 31, 2009

In Love

mr c and i consider ourselves very lucky. we have been given a second chance at love. second chances are the best. we held interest for each other some 14 years ago, but timing just was not on our side. we ended our flirtation right after it began and moved on with our own lives...each finding another kind of love that led to marriage and children. mr c never left my mind. he made his mark on my heart and i on his.

mr c's marriage ended almost 5 years ago and mine followed suit a few years after. on one sunny day in april of 2007...i picked up my phone and left that beautiful man a message at his office. he returned my call within minutes. we always tell others that from that moment...from that phone call...we were done. we were meant to be together when timing and life were right. we fell in love quickly and despite the both of us having crawled out of broken marriages...we were not afraid to jump in with everything we had.

when we began dating...we spoke late into our nights about how we would treat our relationship different than our failed marriages. we agreed and made mention over and over again about the 'little things' meaning the most to us and we, in turn, put high value on this thought. our relationship weighs heavily on the 'little things' to this day...2 and 1/2 years into our life together.

one of the 'little things' that we do is write notes to each other in our notebook. i'll scribble a note of gratitude for mr c in my life...or sometimes it's something a little sexier...or they are just my written words about how i feel about this man that i love. when i am done, i place the notebook on his night table and then wait for him to do the same for me. let me tell you...reading a love note from my strong, athletic, manly-man is one of my absolute favorite treats. this book is great because it documents our feelings and love. i know it's a bit mushy...but i'll take it. it's always nice to be able to reread notes and letters and be reminded of how lucky we really are.

(will now apologize for super mushy about something raunchy and saucy tomorrow)


reason # 1 on why mr c should take me back to the beach:

there is plenty of room in our glass shell jar to fill with more beauties from mission beach.

need i say more?

i think not.

Friday, August 21, 2009

what turning 6 looks like in our home....

This little Landon turned 6 yesterday.
He has had the birthday countdown running for about the past 3 months.
Every conversation involved some discussion about Landon's birthday.
This year, we opted for just a small family birthday party including Landon's auntie Jessie and her two boys, cousins Jack and Tag.

(photo taken at a mere 5 years and 11 months of age, san diego, ca)
The following are some of the photos to show what turning 6 was like for Landon on
August 20, 2009.

Since it was a school day, and Landon would have to go the entire day without celebrating and opening gifts, I decided to let him open his "necessities of a 6 year old bag" which is basically the fun bag full of cool stuff. It was stuffed full of DS Games, an art box with his own supplies, an electric toothbrush, card games and memory games and some candy. My mother always did 'fun bags' for us and I remember them being the best. Ours were usually full of Hello Kitty and RainbowBrite.

Mr C was up early (per my request) and off to Krispy Kreme to pick up 4 dozen doughnuts so that Landon could share a snack with his classroom. I would have preferred to bake something to share but unfortunately school rules don't allow for home baked goods in the classrooms. (What kind of world are we living in when you can't even send in some homemade cookies to celebrate a special day?)

However, I do not think that the class in room A-7 minded nibbling on glazed doughnuts.
Landon's teacher made a special crown for him to wear the entire day so that everyone knew it was his day. When I asked him later on if mom could borrow it...he said no and then I think he hid it from me.

For dinner... I decided to put Mr C to work and requested his (almost) famous burgers on the grill.

(for was a veggie burger...i'm meat free)

Mr C also made his super creamy french onion and ranch dip. It was nice to see the man in the kitchen. Maybe I should request a little more from him and his grill.
Since it was just a small gathering of family...I decided to put little favor bags together for the children. I included just a couple of Landon's favorite things to pass along while he opened his gifts. Each child received a bag with a slinky, a ring pop and some M&M's inside.

I think it's always nice to hand out favor goodies when the birthday child is opening gifts. Kind of softens the 'gift envy' a little bit.

This is the only photo I have of me and my 6 year old...he understandably would not say still for very long. I am trying to remember if I had to bribe him with something (like candy) in order to get this photo.

One of his 'big gifts' was a remote control race car. Not my favorite type of toy to give...but it sure was a hit. I'm pretty sure he was showing off in this picture by holding it over his head.

Aggressively tearing through gifts.

We finished the celebrating off by singing Happy Birthday to Landon and then devoured chocolate chip cupcakes/vanilla cupcakes and a scoop of chocolate chip ice cream to chase it all down. We have a lot of summer birthdays in our family and I just thought that baking cupcakes would be a nice change from your typical birthday cake...not to mention, this might be the last year that I can get away with that!

So cheers to this little guy who is now adorably 6.
When I woke him for school this morning...he asked if I had anymore gifts for him to open.
He was genuinely disappointed when I told him that he had opened everything last night.

I love you more than you can ever know. You are the greatest 6 year old I know and I am so happy that I get to be your mom.
Happy Birthday to you,


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My Boy

To refresh your memory...this is my first born, Mikey. He just turned 12 this past July. Twelve. For months now, this boy has been the root of heartache for his mom...that is me. He tried, on more than one occasion, to grow up this summer. And he didn't even ask me for permission first. From my view, there was no warning.
I first noticed subtle differences in Mikey. Little snippets of change, peeking from around the corner of an unsuspecting mom like me. First, it was getting angry with me when I, out of complete habit, would request 3 children's menus at a restaurant for my 3 children. Makes some sense, doesn't it? 'Mom, why did you have to ask for a kids menu for me?' Wow. Where did that come from? I thought you liked the kids menu at BJ's. They have those fun puzzles on the back and the maze in the middle. He refused to even open the kid's menu and tossed the crayons to his brother and sister to fight over. I was caught a little of guard the first time I heard this. And, because I am a devoted creature of habit, we would go on to have this conversation at least a dozen times over our summer break. I would quickly apologize for forgetting that a children's menu was an insult to my newly 12 year old and allow for Mikey to order from the adult menu. I guess at 12 years, there is big difference from children's pepperoni pizza to adults pepperoni pizza. Maybe the difference is in the sauce. Or, maybe it's just the price.
My first has also, on a daily basis, been asking to stay home alone while I run errands with his two younger counterparts. It took a whole lot of time to get used to this idea of leaving my child home without me around, but as I am speaking with other girlfriends and fellow mothers, I realize that I might be the only one who does not leave her preteen child home alone for errand running. So, we eased into 'home alone' time with short trips to the grocery store or sometimes Starbucks. I would concoct a short list of groceries that I needed for dinner and would load the younger two into the Denali and give Mikey the opportunity to stay home. Alone. After I locked the door behind me and backed the car out of the drive, I raced to Albertsons and threw down the fastest shopping trip this side of the Mississippi. I usually left half of my list for a second trip later that week and would stand in line and think of the worst possible things and ideas that could happen to a boy of 12 left home alone by his mother. I thought of strangers just released from prison coming to the door or wild house fires or even what happens if he is eating while I'm gone and starts choking? It is amazing the tricks your mind can play on you when functioning in fear and uncertainty and change. It took several short grocery store trips and Starbucks runs before I finally gave in and trusted this young boy of mine.
My birthday weekend (yes, i get a whole weekend...used to be a week but now just a weekend...long story)was when I finally realized that Mikey was ready to up the anty in the growing up game. Mr C and I took our children to stay at a local resort in Phoenix. My sister and her two children joined us in the festivities. The hotel has an amazing water park for families to enjoy and that is exactly where we planned on spending the entirety of our Saturday. Just good ole' fashioned family time around the pool and the lazy river. For additional fun, I invited my girlfriend, Suzan to come up with her boys. This is where the game changed. Suzan also has a boy of 12 and his name is Tanner. Tanner has apparently already been through the 'I'm not a kid anymore phase' and pretty much dropped his towel on the loungy chair and bolted for the pool. I don't even think he hung around to be properly sunblocked from the hot Arizona sun. No matter. Moving on. Let me also mention that up until this point...Mikey had been hanging out in the family pool area with his brother and sister and his mom (Mr C was already hard at work...paying for fab birthday weekend, i assume). Things were great until Mikey spied Tanner...hopped out of family pool....and went on their own. The entire day. I hardly saw Mikey, and when I did, I am pretty sure that he pretended not to see me. At first, I thought maybe he was embarrassed that mom was in stripy bikini and maybe should not have been. But then again...I was still sporting cute tank top over bikini top and board shorts over bikini bottoms so the issue of too much 'mom boob' was not apparent. He did manage to come over to me to ask for a couple of bucks for a soda and I did take advantage of that time to check in and reapply sunblock to which I am pretty sure he still holds a grudge for because we happen to be next to group of preteen girls waiting for bathroom availability while I sprayed him head to toe with Neutrogenia SPF 45. I missed hanging out with Mikey that day and after about 3 hours without him...I realized that he was okay...making good decisions on his own and of course...practicing pool safety without me.
So, now he's been in Jr High for a week. Doing fine. He is having troubles with his school issued locker and has refused my offerings of help about 10 times now. He reassures me that he will get it figured out and that 'it just sticks sometimes, mom.' He stays home alone at times, orders from adult menus, hangs out with friends instead of mom and can handle locker problems on his own. Letting him grow up to be Mike...not Mikey anymore is dang hard. Clearly, I was not ready for this change. But I can remember going through it myself around this age and I know I need to loosen up a little and let him start his own path. I'm never going to be far behind him...just in case he gets a little lost. I will learn to trust in his decision making and have faith in this boy of mine that is 12. Twelve.
But just so you know...this boy that is 12...came running into his mom's room last night panicked and bleeding because he cut his finger pretty badly on Grandpa Roger's old Indian arrow. He wanted me to take care of his wound and bandage it up...he needed his mom. That felt great. Great I tell you. I cleaned his cut finger and wrapped 3 bandages around it and sent him off to bed. He still needs me like I need him.
I love you Mikey.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Right Now...

right now... is quiet in my house...
...i'm sipping on a raspberry lemonade...
...nibbling on a blueberry muffin...
...listening to the dryer humming...
...glad to be back on routine...
...thank you school...for coming 'round again... i must go and savour my last hour alone...
later girls.

(this is one of my favorite pics from our last beach trip)
(mr c would not let me bring it home)
(something about stealing)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Scenes of Summer


I'm back.

I realized about 2 weeks into summer that I did not have the time or energy to keep up with my blog, so I kind of just put her on hold for a bit. Did anyone get tired of seeing the chocolate chip cookie recipe? However, the children headed back to school yesterday and Mr C is at work so I thought I should get back on here and do some updating since this is my journal of sorts.


I do have to mention that summer this year was GREAT. I think my children and I handled the lack of routine and schedule much better than the years before. We had lazy days and days full of activity. We had parties at our home and dinners out with friends. We celebrated birthdays ( I turned 34) and found any reason we could to go out and have fun.

Rather than create the longest post in my history today and explain everything that we did this Summer break...I just thought I would share some photos of some good stuff.


I spent lots of my summer muggin on this Mr C.

(see the fabulous Gucci he got me for my birthday...)

Mr C's children moved to San Diego in late June so on one of our trips there...we were able to have his kids come and stay with us. This is our family...minus the oldest, Justine.

Together, we have 7 children. I know...hat's a lot. They are all great kids and let me tell you...our house is so loud when they are all together. I wouldn't have it any other way.

While we were at Mission Beach, we stopped off at the bumper cars. Seriously...I think I left with whip-lash. Kids are cruel...that's all I'm sayin'.

I know my sunglasses are huge...but I love them...even though I look like a bug.

One thing that I absolutely love is to see my kids on the beach. I don't think that I stopped smiling the entire time our toes were in the sand. The kids all got along and played well together the entire time...I was utterly amazed that I didn't spend my time breaking up fights.

That's Landon up there...running to his mama for a towel. I think, on average, I declare my love for his little guy about 47 times. He'll be 6 next week. He can hardly wait for his day.

Mikey (above with Landon) has been my biggest concern this year. He started Jr High yesterday and has had two fabulous days. I was relieved to know that he only got lost once and had a buddy to sit with at lunch. I have been so nervous and anxious over his new school and all that comes with Jr High territory. Then, I really freaked myself out when we celebrated his 12th birthday in July and I realized that next year he will be a teenager. Hi...I'm not ready for that either.

I spent a lot of our Summer loving on my kids and Mr C. I realized over and over how much good there is in my life and I just decided to put intent into our days. Intent to be patient and to show love. Intent to make memories and to cherish them.