{on a wednesday}

{this photo has nothing to do with my ramblings. just something i like to look at when i walk through my front door.}

It is 4:54pm and I am wiped. Wishing that when I quit the coffee 8 weeks ago, I kept the emergency bag of Starbucks French Roast instead of handing it off to sister. Should have known there would be days like this.

My alarm went off at 6:15 this morning. It was still dark outside. We slept with our window open and when I woke, the dark sky and the morning chill quickly married and left me no other choice but to hit snooze and burrow under my blue fuzzy blanket. Best Christmas gift thus far. Maybe a tie with the Kindle Mr C gifted me.

I reason with myself almost every morning. What time do I really need to be up? Am I working out today? If so then that allows for more time to burrow in bed. If not, then it's up for an early shower. Although that means getting up first and claiming the first shower with ALL of the hot water. That's like the house prize of the day. The warmest shower award. The first question out of Mr C's mouth in the morning is, "Do I have hot water?" I always answer with an enthusiastic, "YES!" all the while thinking in my head.."no babe, your shower is gonna suck."

Today I did not work out. I had the hot shower instead.

I had Morgan to chorus at 7:25. Bagels in the toaster by 7:30. And a pretty decent morning hug from Landon while I searched for matching socks in the laundry room.

I finished readying myself for the day stopping once to climb on top of Mr C and wake him up. I always put my cold hands on his back and then ask if he wants to feel how cold my hands are. He always says no. I laugh every time because my hands freeze in the morning.

Called the school to excuse Landon for his dental appointment and then headed towards Mikey's room to wake him up.

8:50 rolls around and I run Mikey to school. Try to get a little conversation out of him on the way but I got nothing. We took the kids to a hockey game last night and got home kind of late. Mikey was up late finishing Social Studies and Spanish and woke up feeling the repercussions this morning. Excuse for being cranky/quiet.

Mr C headed to the gym around 9:45 leaving me and Landon home. Landon took a 15 minute shower. I heard him singing Katy Perry. Couldn't bring myself to tell him to get out of the shower already.

Made the bed. {rarely happens}

Head off to Landon's dental appointment and get 45 minutes to myself to read one of the 4 books I have going.

No cavities. Head to AJ's for a sugar cookie.

Home for 15 minutes before I head to the school to fetch Morgan. Extra early release Wednesday.

Home.

Off to get Mikey. Run through McDonalds for vanilla cones. Sunny and 80 outside.

Welcome Spring.

Email from Morgan's sewing instructor. Bronchitis. No sewing. Awesome.

Blog surf/cry for 30 minutes before unbending craving for Mexican food takes over.

Take out from Rosas in the form of enchiladas and bean burros with rice.

Satisfied and full.

Now it's 5:30. Still wiped and wishing for coffee.

Going to close all blinds, change clocks and convince kids it's bedtime.

Goodnight.

just like me

There have been so many times recently that I have thought to myself that Morgan is just like me. My sister says it on a weekly basis anymore....'she's just like you." How could I ever get tired of hearing that.

She's the perfect amount of silly and creative...her mind does not stop. Just like me. Her bedroom floor is covered with craft supplies, stickers, scrappy pieces of paper that she refuses to throw away, scissors and the like. Her scrapbook is always open and being fancied in all sorts of ways. Her pages are never completely finished. She sees it...and then creates it. I'd love to just spend one hour in her mind while she's creating.

She's overly sensitive when it comes to animals. Just like me. We both cover our eyes or change the channel when the commercials with the wounded and neglected animals comes on. Too much for us to handle. We grab our fuzzy dogs and hug them immediately.

She takes her shoes off the moment she gets home. Just like me. Everyday gets better when feet are bare and naked. We both know that secret and discovered it when we were little. This is the reason why mr c comes home to all of my shoes next to his side of the bed (and that drives him nuts!).

This girl is who I was when I was 11. Only, she's a lot more confident than I was. Thank goodness for that. I missed out on so much because I was so shy. If I could go back...I would change that first.

It's the most amazing feeling to know that this girl that I made, made me too. The power that my motherhood has with her is great and my love for her is unbending.

This girl is the best version of me.

polka dotted tights and right now...

right now i am:

wishing i could trade outfits with this little chicken today...

up to my eyeballs in photos for the shop...

planning 2 weeks worth of dinners today,

have you done that?...it's time consuming but i hope it'll pay off and save time in the end...

listening to landon constantly ask me run him up to the store...

and ignoring, once again, the enormous pile of laundry waiting to be folded and put away.

seven.

...so a few weeks ago, we celebrated landon's 7th. and by postponing the celebration here on this little blog...maybe that was my way of not accepting that the boy is really 7. seven. all of his bits and pieces including that great big heart of his are indeed seven. how is it that my smallest is this big? all that i can do is plead...has anyone gotten closer to figuring out how to make time slow down or better yet, stand still?




our celebrating started early in the morning when the sun was just making it's debut on this hot august day...tradition in this house dictates one gift before school...just one little treat to tide over the tingling anticipation of unravelling all things wrapped in pretty packages all snug in their bows...




he had no idea that his little treat...his before school goodie was the grand prize...the itouch he has begged and pleaded case for since first laying eyes on his brothers...mama did good...

we celebrated simply just as we did for mikey...and again, we did it well. simple does not mean missing out or forgetting about the little things...because those are the best bits of a celebration...the you can count ons and of course you'll wake up to a decked out house of streamers and cut out birthday numbers...

surprise balls full of trinkets

unwrap the crepe paper balls to find

trinkets hidden in layers
big hit with the littles

birthdays mean celebrating the years of life under your belt, the years of life to come and everything wading between...and just when i stop to realize how fast it is all swooshing by...i am seriously thinking that we need to start celebrating more often and even bigger...how about a half birthday celebration?...

...because when i was pregnant with my first all those years ago, and every other mama that i talked to about motherhood said the same thing, "...enjoy it, it goes by so fast." ...and i listened but never absorbed it in my chest where all good bits of advise and memories burn inside of me...and it has. it has gone by so fast. so now...i live and breathe in my motherhood more than i ever had...and birthdays are up there on the tippy top of the scale of when i feel that burn the most. when i witness how a little effort mixed with streamers and love can take my littles so far and make memory of such a day. and i know and breathe this because i remember these days when i was a little girl...and the little efforts from my mother still sit on the shelves of my memories...ready to pull out and replay whenever i need them.

and boy was it a day for making memoris.

do you see how small he is in that photo on the right, smack dab in the middle of brother and sis?

the children crowded around the table to eat pizza and nosh on candy and special treats...bites of chocolate and popcorn interrupted only by joke telling and laughing...

and when i ask my little guy who is now officially 7 for a few photos for the books...he lets all of his good sweet love wash over me...he doesn't grant it in meager doses...he opens up the gates and lets all of that seven year old love and affection out...there is no shame in loving on your mama when you're seven. this changes, i know. i have a 13 year old who has replaced hugs in public with the fist bump. fist bumps are good too...when you can still get a hug at home.

dear sweet landon...

keep those big blue eyes open and see it all...take it all in and know how you are loved...before grandpa roger left this big green earth...he told me that you were so curious in your world and that it would lead to something special. i am so eager to see what that is. you are inquisitive and wondrous and special and right now, you are laying on the floor below me singing secrets. it doesn't get any better than that. you are smart and funny and incredibly sensitive...a powerful combination for the world ahead of you. i love being your mama...i love our reading time at night and all of the questions that you throw out into the void daily. i hope you always feel how loved you are. thank you for always asking for just one more kiss goodnight, wishing me good days when i drop you at school in the morning and for telling me that i smell good.

love, mom

happy birthday, buggie.

our weekend was...

...extraordinarily ordinary...and that means it was pretty great. while the mr worked all weekend, the littles and i spent most of our time indoors...in our home...in our comfort. i am a homebody and my children follow suit. i have no shame to admit this here. it is as much of who we are as our eye color and fingerprints. when the temperatures are still reaching 107 degrees and the pavement holds the heat so close because she is afraid that if she let's it loose for a moment, it will be gone...then it is fairly easy to declare it a lets be home kind of weekend.

and that's fine by me. and by him.

my 3 reasons to find the extraordinary in every day...worn right there...around my little neck.

and when it was time to sneak out of our walls for just a bit...we headed to share time and coffee with sister and cousins. catching up and running wildly through starbucks were on the agenda and happily, we have checked both off the list. respectively.

and if this girl gets any prettier...there might be some trouble. i can declare that. i am her mother. and that means i am lucky. and maybe so is she. because nobody could love her like i do.

and then wouldn't you know it. saturday night, the passed down trains and tracks made another debut right in the entry and all 3 of my littles played together. i don't know the last time that they all had interest in the same thing at the same time. those days are fewer and fewer as they grow...so i did what i had to at that moment. i breathed it all in. deep down to the bottom of my belly. i sat and watched them build and construct. and then take it all apart until the bits and pieces were built into something new. not one fight during that hour. not one.

i love that my boys are sitting in the exact same way.

nothing amazing or extra special happened this weekend. it was routine. but there was beauty made from the routine. if i look at it in a way directing myself to find it...it's there. it's in the time i layed on the sofa with morgan. just looking at her and really seeing how big she has gotten is enough to stop me right in my tread so that i can memorize everything about the way she is today. her long hair that is as golden as sunlight. pale skin with the leavings of freckles on her nose that take me right back to afternoons spent in the sun this summer. this girl, i tell you what.

little moments like glittering stars with morgan today. and to have her quietly say to me, ''everything is prettier with glitter.''

so i sit typing tonight with landon snuggled in our billowy bed watching a movie while narrating every bit so that i won't fall behind in watching it. i just checked on morgan and she is stowed away in her very pink room, surrounded by paper and colors, sketching yet another owl picture for her book. mikey is hunkered down in the spare room with headphones and a computer behaving like today's teenager for the first time this weekend. i think he is battling what bad guys remain in his star wars game. routine and beauty.

and i haven't even mentioned the best part. we have a bonus day tomorrow. no school. no schedule. just open hours to turn into whatever we want.

3 cheers for labor day.

hip hip horray!

celebrating mikey...

....in a very low key way. it's been a few years since i have

thrown a birthday party for mikey. he has sort of outgrown them, but i do like to

recognize the day in a few special ways. i never want him or any of my children to look back and feel that their days were ordinary ones.

so..our day was scheduled by this guy. my teenager. i feel old just typing that...my teenager.

we had lunch at his favorite...and my favorite...p.f.changs...have you had their crispy green beans?...a m a z i n g to say the least.

mikey sat like this...with his head resting on the table playing on his itouch which was

his birthday gift this year...teenagers.

after lunch, we dropped mr c off at work and the kids and i headed over to

see the movie the sorcerer's apprentice...mikey's choice

we loved it...go see it...'nuff said.

.....

after our movie...sister and her boys headed over for a good ol' fashioned family party.

nothing beats a family party in my book...

the plan was to grill italian sausage for dinner...

i canceled that when the pouring rain made a visit and

soaked my new shoes and bag...not very nice...i had

not been to the market to pick up the sausage yet so we went to plan b:

we ordered pizza.

you can never go wrong with pizza at a birthday party.

none of the kids complained.

neither did the adults...even if it was just sister and myself as the adults

we made a kids only table...

we just used items from the craft pantry and added a few jars filled with candy...

the kids like it when the grown ups arent allowed to sit at the special table

it's kind of the 'im too old for birthday decor but i still want a little decor to celebrate' theme

sister caught some photos of the foxy birthday stud and myself...

do you know how hard it is to get this guy to even look at my camera?...

it would be easier to birth another baby without an epidural.

on second thought...maybe not...im strictly an epidural kind of girl...


what do you think of my new bangs...i went for the long sweepy

sexy bangs look last week...im still getting used to them...

i think they have magical powers of persuasion over mr c...i've gotten away with a few things

that make me believe this were true...

how about a funky photo...

so i offered to slave away in the kitchen for an entire

afternoon baking the cake of my boy's dreams but he begged and pleaded

for an ice cream cake from baskin and robbins

or maybe it was me who wanted the ice cream cake...

so i did what any good mother would do and put away all of the

ingredients for the homemade cake and headed out the door to buy one...

mikey asked for a vanilla cake with chocolate ice cream...

i brought home a chocolate cake with oreo ice cream...

should not have gone to pick up the cake with an empty belly and menstrual cravings for

chocolate in high gear

no one complained

so i didn't bake the cake but i did place all 13 candles on my own...

that counts for something, right
.....

i love this photo below...the kid was seriously thinking about what to wish for...almost as if he

knew it was going to come true

.....

i made a wish too...still waiting to see if it comes true

hands down... my favorite photo of this guy...peace out x's two

i am that mom who snuck a cheeky kiss on my boy...and i promised him i would not post it on

my blog...oops...youneversawthisphoto...

hope your birthday was as special as you mikey boy...

♥mom